oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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