I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
