i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
