that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
