Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
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I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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