sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
