yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
