I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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