Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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