I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize