Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
