I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
