great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
