Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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