I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
