I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
