u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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