The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
