just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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