insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
