Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
