the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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