Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
