I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
