Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
