I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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