"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
