I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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