So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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