Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
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He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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