Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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