Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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