on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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