it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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