there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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