There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize