Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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