It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
