Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
