I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
