their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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