So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
