I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
