can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
A+ Viking dick
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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