Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
