I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
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he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
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My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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