why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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