We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
