Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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