what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
babies were throwing up all over the place
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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