I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
