she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Panties = found
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