just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
