i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize