I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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