distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
