went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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