Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
