Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
