does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize