It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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