found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
