She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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