She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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