Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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