party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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