sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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