I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
