you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it's great music for shaving your balls
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
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Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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