How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize