I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We are two peas in an std pod
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just forgot I was standing up.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
