I think I am morally bankrupt
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
