I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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